I WISH I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU......

I have listened to your advice
You insisted on telling me how it was
For you as a girl
And how you did this and that.

I tell you I am tired
I am not listening anymore.

I have taken your advice
And where has it gotten me?
Right here!
Just where I DO NOT want to be!

From now on,
I don’t need you, I don’t want you
I am not listening to you.
But…you can no longer hear me.

You are no longer with me.
You are in another place giving advice.
Being yourself.
Why were you never your true self with ME
Why all the pretense,
Why all the hypocrisy.
It was not necessary.

I would have still loved you
Always, I would have
But you kept a wedge between us
I cannot understand why you did this
But you did
And now,
You are gone.

Where are you when I need the strength
I saw in you when I was a child
I cannot reach you.
I am angry!
Do you understand?
Angry!

I am your child
You left me
I hate that
But, I know
I can never hate you
I will always love you,

Mummy